hope|sounds

go for the jugular - to attack a vital and vulnerable trait, feature, element, etc., in an attempt to overcome somebody or something swiftly and totally

..and that's precisely what He did with me.

This is common in our relationship. I shouldn't have been surprised, I felt it coming.

And this is where it all began (well, I should say "manifested") 2 days ago. I sensed uneasiness in my Spirit and the first thing that popped into my head was Ed's blogs about "Do not be anxious, uneasy, etc...". And then I realized why I've been so subconsciously frustrated with not being able to identify with these blogs where my fellow plant carriers discuss their uneasiness/anxiousness...

It's not that I don't have to deal with common/outer circumstances, but rather I've discovered that there's a lot outside of my control that I've spent a lot of time trying to fix/change. This is a primary tactic of the enemy at work against me because he tries to get me to waste my energy and time with certain things I don't need to put my hands on or my words to.

So why was I so uneasy and anxious? It was because God was opening my eyes and exposing some hidden things in my heart that needed to be crucified. Deep things. Not surface things...but DEEP things. And this is where my plant came in handy. I noticed that you cannot look at the leaves/flowers,etc of a plant and determine what's "wrong" with it. You can hypothesize, sure...but these are just theories until you are able to look at what is below the ground and find out where it's roots are. So I realized that my life is very much so like this plant. I don't struggle so much with "surface" things (worry about circumstances and daily events/relationships), but rather I become uneasy with the DEEP things (the roots of who I am/not, who God is/isn't, etc). But unless I ask the Holy Spirit to come and show me what's beneath the surface, I can't fix anything or even give my consent for anything to be fixed.

It's like when your air conditioning unit (lets just say your heart) has a problem. So you hire an expert (Holy Spirit) to come and determine the problem. Don't you want to know what the problem is before you shell out x amount of dollars to get it fixed? (Don't you want to know what you're paying for?) You can't sign on the dotted line to let the expert fix it (which your "signing" is really not just saying "i agree to pay you" but also "i agree that you know more about this than I do and I trust you to fix it") until you have determined that there's a problem and you need someone's help.

Sooooo....Spirit graciously continue to allow me to see some serious flaws in my thinking processes, my perceptions of God, my unconscious judgments of others, my close-mindedness to some friends words, and selfishness (to name a few).

*Random note: I want to apologize for my community of believers who have had to bear with my sarcasm these past few days. God deals with me sarcastically (as a form of humorous rebuke so I don't become so hardened in my heart towards the rebuke), so I am exceptionally sassy and sarcastic in turn. Thank you for your continued patience. :)

Then, as I was driving to Onething after class, I was internally anxious/upset at having to face some harsh realities (which I know is a very good thing and I genuinely consider the process to 'hurt so good' but is a little tough to face initially), when I saw a bird and thought to myself, "If I had wings, I'd use them" (with the idea of escapism). To which God replied, "You have legs, do you use them?" And I said, "Good point. My legs carry me different places but I'm still 'here' on the same 'plane' of thinking in the same environment." To which He said, "Ah. Transcendence." And I said, "Huh?" haha "Yes, God, that's it...to be up higher, closer to where you are, to increase in knowledge and press on to the "meat" of you instead of milk that isn't giving me the nutrients I need anymore."

Some other things He brought to my attention these past few days:

"We accuse each other of being too literal. As a result, we forsake balance/healthy compromise and swing to the opposite extreme of living entirely in the metaphorical just so we can then accuse one another of not being 'clear'." (I had to laugh at this one!)

"I was convicted when I saw Todd's lily and thought to myself, 'I would be much more excited to carry around a plant that looked pretty (as opposed to my mini bush that is not able to have the glory of a plant which is its flower -as some say).' Immediately, Jesus responded, 'So if I (Jesus inside of you) was better looking or more appealing then you would be proud of me and willing to introduce me/present me to others?'" Ugh...come on, Jesus! Ok ok...I get your point.

"My recognition of my need for God is mostly dependent upon my ability to see that need - not because of a constant, deep-rooted realization of Kingdom reality."

"Fear often masquerades as safety."

"You can't give what you hold onto."

So, other than all of this ;) I've been reflecting on the relationship between Solomon and the lilies that are clothed in splendor.

Apparently the word/name "lily" means "purity and royalty." "The lily's scepter or trumpet shape makes it a symbol of royalty. Its white color indicates purity, innocence, hope, and virtue. To be "lily-like" is to be of a gentle demeanor and to love others with a pure love. To "gild a lily" is to waste time and energy trying to improve something which is already perfect.

The Lily of the Valley is one of the first flowers to bloom in the spring. Its fresh appearance after a long winter and its purity make it a symbol of both Christ and the Virgin Mary. Mary is thought to be Solomon's "lily among thorns," (Song 2:2). To both Jesus (who was the only male without sin) and Mary are attributed the words, "I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys" (Song 2:1). In the second century A.D., declared that the lily represents the pure life of Christ and the valley symbolizes the sinful world He overcame.

As an emblem of purity, rebirth, and eternal life, lilies were used to decorate the pillars of Solomon's temple (1 Ki 7:19, 22). This flower is associated with the Resurrection because its bulb is buried in the ground like a human corpse, and yet from this apparent death a beautiful flower arises.

Christ made the lily a symbol of what would be done for those who trust in divine providence when He said, "Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?" (Luke 12:27-28; see also Mt 6:28-29).

When Jesus is pictured holding a lily in His mouth, He is taking His place as Judge of the World. The lily in His mouth symbolizes His divine mercy and his perfect judgments. The lily was used as a symbol of perfection and beauty when God said of Israel, "I will heal their backsliding...I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall grow like the lily..." (Hosea 14:4-5). Because He is merciful, the aim of the Lord's judgments is the perfection of His people and not their destruction.

Snakes, a symbol of the devil are rumored to flee from the pure aroma of the lily. The Beloved's lips are described as "lilies, dripping liquid myrrh" because of the sweet aroma of the words of Christ (Song 5:13)."

Some interesting thoughts to consider....

Personally, I don't feel like I have any specific revelation yet. But I'm working on it :)